My Prayer

Behind the Poem

I wrote My Prayer during a season of my life where I held myself to an incredibly high standard. Honestly, I still do. The difference is that now I have more awareness of it.

Back then, falling short—even slightly—felt much bigger than it actually was.

A mistake wasn’t just a mistake. Failure wasn’t just something that happened.

I carried both like permanent scars tattooed onto my skin, evidence that I had disappointed myself, disappointed someone else, and ultimately disappointed God.

I thought I had to be perfect.

My Prayer is a mirror to that desperation.

It reflects my longing to be better and do better. My need for acceptance and forgiveness. My desire not only to be loved, but to actually feel loved.

When I read it now, I’m grateful that even with a perspective that was somewhat skewed, I still knew where to turn.

God.

I believed He could restore what I thought I had ruined.

Over the years, though, this prayer has grown with me.

What once sounded like a desperate plea to become worthy has become a reminder that I can always turn to God—no matter how things look, how far I’ve fallen, or how badly I think I’ve messed up.

I don’t have to clean myself up before I pray.

I don’t have to find the perfect words.

I don’t have to construct the perfect sentences.

Prayer is not a badge of perfection. It’s an acceptance of imperfection.

It’s an acknowledgment that I am human. That I have weaknesses. That I make mistakes. That there are things I cannot fix, carry, understand, or accomplish on my own.

And that I need God to step in.

I think sometimes we make prayer more complicated than it has to be. We worry about saying the right thing or wonder whether our words are eloquent enough to reach God.

But I’ve learned that prayer isn’t about performing for Him.

It’s about turning toward Him.

And not only when I’m desperate. Not only when something has gone wrong. Not only when I need an answer.

Consistently.

Inviting Him into my decisions, my relationships, my dreams, my fears, my successes, my failures, and everything in between.

That’s what My Prayer reminds me to do. It’s also an example of something I’ve experienced throughout my life:

sometimes writing is one of the ways I grow closer to God.

I may have written these words as a young man desperately asking God to help him become better.

Today, I read them differently.

They remind me that I never needed to become perfect before approaching Him.

I just needed to come.

My Prayer has grown with me.

And I think it always will.

This poem is my forever prayer.

Beyond the Page

When was the last time you turned to God without feeling like you had to fix yourself first?

My Prayer is featured in my poetry collection, Behind the Smile, and on my spoken word album, eight twenty eight.

If this reflection resonated with you, you can read the poem in Behind the Smile or listen to me bring it to life on eight twenty eight. Both explore faith, identity, love, healing, and the journey of becoming.